


Blame It

by merkintosh



Category: Glee
Genre: Alcohol, Drunken het make-outs, poor decision making
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:30:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merkintosh/pseuds/merkintosh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt throws a party and invites the Glee club. He somehow ends up pulling a Katy Perry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blame It

**Author's Note:**

> Mercedes Jones is just that sexy.

"Hold up, what is this again?" Mercedes asked while holding the shot glass away from her body.

"Awesome." Kurt said with a smile, he was pouring himself a second shot of the clear alcohol. "Drink it before I do."

Mercedes sniffed and looked at Kurt skeptically while he downed his second shot. "I think you need to consider a twelve-step program." But she drank the shot down anyways.

"You throw up in school one time and you can never live it down." Kurt complained before pouring her another shot. "It's just vodka, Mercedes. Besides, we're in my room and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon."

Mercedes poked him in the shoulder, "Whatever, alkie. But you better slow down before everyone else gets here. You don't want to be drunk before the party even starts."

Kurt waved her concerns away with his hand, "I can handle it."

~

Apparently, Kurt could handle it and managed to not stumble or slur until the party was halfway over. He only did vodka the entire night, just a few shots at a time while he watched the gang hold a massive beer pong tournament. He was glad he had pulled all his rugs off the floor beforehand as he saw the cheap beer Puck had managed to swindle from the corner store spill everywhere.

Mercedes, however, didn't seem to know she was drunk. Between the shots and beer pong games where she and Quinn kept losing, Mercedes was drunk off her ass by midnight.

Kurt tried to lead Mercedes to the couch, "Come on you luscious lush, it's time to sit down with a glass of water and a bucket." he said.

Mercedes pulled her arm out of his grip and leaned it across his shoulders, "Kurt, I'm not drunk. You're the lightweight between the two of us, you know this. Your skinny ass can't even handle box wine. You need some meat on your bones." That's when her hands began to wander and pinched his ass.

Kurt struggled to seat Mercedes on the couch while she kept groping him, "Ok, ok, Mercedes. I'm a lightweight. That doesn't mean you should try and beat Puck in beer pong. That's just stu--oh hey, that's my penis, let go--stupid of you."

"I am luscious, though." Mercedes said with a slow grin. She leaned into the couch pillows and closed her eyes. "Sit with me, Kurt. I love you and I need a hug from my man." She opened her arms wide and tilted over, unable to stay upright without support.

Kurt smiled and leaned over to give her a hug. She squeezed him tight enough that he lost his balance and fell into her chest.

"Yeah, Kurt! Motorboat those titties!" Puck yelled from across the room, his beer can held high in salute. Quinn punched him in the shoulder.

"You have to let go of me, 'cedes. I can't breathe!" Kurt said with a gasp as he tried to struggle out of her grip. Mercedes reluctantly loosened her hold, but didn't let him stand up. With a sigh of defeat, Kurt sat next to Mercedes on the couch and let her cuddle him, her hands rubbing across his back and thigh in an uncoordinated rhythm.

"White boy," Mercedes said, "I just need you to know that I love you, but I'm totally over that fool crush of mine. Obviously, at the time I was looking for easy love and there's nothing easier than you."

Kurt's brow furrowed as Mercedes kept talking, "To love, I mean. What with your tight pants and slutty wide mouth, I figured you were asking for someone to take you out and ride you. I was right, I just should have realized that you weren't a whore for pussy."

Kurt wanted to be offended, but Mercedes looked so happy and she kept hugging him and smiling. He shook his head and decided to give her a pass since she was so incredibly drunk.

But if she kept calling him a whore, he was going to have to smother her with a pillow until she passed out.

Then, Rachel sat down next to him with a tipsy, "Whee!" She had a bottle of vodka in her one hand as she used the other to pull her skit back down.

"Hello, Kurt. Mercedes. This is a great party you guys have thrown. But as a glee rehearsal, it's pretty much a failure," Rachel nattered away as she leaned forward to grab the television remote from the coffee table. "It's a good thing I checked the TV Guide before coming over. They're showing Yentl on AMC right now and it'll be the perfect musical movie to show everyone in New Directions."

Rachel passed Kurt the vodka bottle as she tried to work the remote. She needed two hands to work the channel buttons as she squinted. Kurt looked around and realized he was the only sober person in the room. Shrugging, he started to drink straight from the bottle in hopes of catching up with everyone else fast.

~

The party was still going strong by two in the morning. Rachel and Santana were drunkenly singing "Papa Can You Hear me?" together from the floor in front of the TV while Finn and Mike were trying to do the Thriller dance in the corner by Kurt's bed. Finn had never danced so well in his life. Puck was crying underneath the beer pong table while Quinn kneeled down and pat his knee. Tina was sitting on the couch next to Artie in his wheelchair, who had a napping Brittany in his lap, staring at Kurt and Mercedes in drunken wonder.

This was because Kurt and Mercedes had somehow managed to get themselves in a messy tangle where they were trying to make out, but failing spectacularly.

Kurt was straddling Mercedes as she lay flat on the couch, her feet in Tina's lap. Mercedes was leaning up to kiss his mouth, but kept missing and laughing whenever she did. Kurt, meanwhile, kept turning around to watch her hands which had never stopped wondering across his back. She would sometimes grab his ass or tickle his sides, making him squirm and giggle.

"I love you, Kurtie Bear." Mercedes cooed as she kissed his nose, "You're so warm and you smell like skittles."

Kurt gasped and tried to lean in only to fall forward entirely. At least he fell in such a way that his mouth met hers. Grinning, they both opened their mouths and began to fight for control of the make out session. Kurt barely won at first, pushing them towards slow open-mouth kisses. He bit her lower lip and tried to french kiss her only to yell out in surprise when she spanked his ass.

Mercedes grinned and pressed hard against his mouth, taking control. She had her tongue in his mouth, practically choking him and not letting him breathe as she kissed him. They both began to moan and smile. Mercedes started to tickle Kurt again. Laughing, they struggled against each other only to move too far too fast and fall off the couch.

Kurt ended up beneath Mercedes and gave a giant "Ooomph!" as he hit the floor. "Mercy, we fell." he said with a confused look on his face.

She was just as disoriented, "How did we fall?" she asked the room plaintively.

Kurt shook his head, "Mercy, I'm confused." He leaned up to whisper in her ear, "I have an erection. I don't understand."

Mercedes just kissed his cheek, "It's ok, Boo. I'm just that sexy."

Kurt nodded slowly. "I love you, 'cedes. Let's go shopping tomorrow."

"Yay!" Mercedes said before leaning back in to kiss Kurt again. They quickly returned to making out, barely keeping their tongues in each others mouths as they curled around each other.

Kurt only leaned back once to talk again. "I'm not easy, though, Mercy!" he said as he grabbed her ass. "Don't think I'm easy."


End file.
